I'm a terrible person

Both for not posting for ages and also because I've just eaten a Crunchie. I basically decided this morning that I wasn't going to exercise..I don't ever feel like it on Sunday's so I figured why fight it and then have three days of exercise fatigue where I just hate everything about it. Today isn't a fat day however, but I did just succumb to the siren shout of a Crunchie. We had a pork roast for dinner and I had breakfast too so I can't justify it..all I can do is fix it with my tea time option. I reckon if I just have like some soup and a yoghurt I'll be right as rain anyways...

I'm so tired right now which is entirely stupid. I was knackered last night at ten o' clock and I figured why bother fighting it? So I got into bed and ended up falling asleep around half past, meaning I got my full eight hours in time for a Sunday for once. Woke up this morning feeling not tired at all which is entirely unusual...and then did work. Then one post work roast later here I am absolutely shattered again. I think it might just be a combination of epic meal plus it being inherently Sunday that makes me feel like this. I'm resisting naps though..although not really sure why. I'm no good to anyone in this state.

This week has been a good week diet wise I think. I haven't been keeping a record of what I have eaten since my last post, but I have exercised everyday and not over eaten by much I don't think. Tomorrow will tell anyways as it's weigh day. The last time I signed off I think I was due at the doctors. Entirely a blight on my week but it went by without a hitch. I had to get my blood pressure taken for my contraceptive and it turns out that it's fine. Usually it's on the cusp of being high although he tells me that's probably white coat syndrome, but this time it was normal even with my heart going like a freight train with nerves. He says he 'trusts me' to keep losing weight and has changed my prescription from seeing him every three months to seeing him every six (even though I skipped out on seeing him the last two times anyway..). Good to know he thinks I'm progressing though.

I'd lost two stone since I last saw him (shows you how long ago it was) so he was pleased anyways which is always a good thing. As to my breathing, I've been getting times where I feel like I just can't get a good breath. Like I'm breathing and nothing is happening. So I end up yawning constantly trying to get a good breath in me and then I end up dizzy, with headaches, tension along my shoulders. All sorts of fun stuff. He thinks it's all stress though so I'm happy to go with that...much as it's entirely ridiculous to stress yourself out to the point where you can't breathe. But still hopefully I'll be able to just calm myself down and zen out a bit and get on top of this high anxiety I've experienced over the last few years. 

Hopefully I'll have a good weigh in tomorrow. Just one pound and I'll be happy and know I'm heading in the right direction! 

That'll do for now
Tatty boo! 

(side note: my dog has hiccups and it's adorable)

Frozen yogurt and jelly

Welp, today has been good diet wise I feel. Skipped out on breakfast again and again found myself a lot less hungry than when I eat it. I went a bit over board at dinner though. Had two gluten free slices of toast, one with half an avocado and tomato and the other with blue berry jam again. But I also had some quavers because I needed them, and a yoghurt...and then a malteasers bunny a little later. I did have the calories for it though, and the 200 should cover the over spill so it should be fine. Tea was steak and salad with prawns and cous cous so not terrible. Lean meats and salads.

I've done my exercise too. Had a moment in the middle where I just didn't think I could finish. It happens sometimes, I just suddenly get really tired. But for the most part it went ok. Finishing up Battlestar Galactica the mini series so I have one more day on the back of that and then I don't know what to watch. I said I wouldn't be starting the series again but whenever I watch the mini series I just WANT to...so I might watch the first few episodes and see how it goes. The earlier seasons are my favourite of the series anyways so yeah, we'll just see. 

My stomach is beating out a samba again tonight. I didn't have any coffee today so I don't know what it's problem is..unless it's because I'm due at the doctor's tomorrow. I'm thinking my IBS is stress triggered because I haven't had any wheat apart from in the malteasers bunny..and the only dairy I've had is a yoghurt which doesn't usually bother me. So yeah. Funsies. I'm going tomorrow to get my blood pressure sorted so the snarky receptionists quit writing snarky notes on my pill prescription telling me I haven't had it done for months...but I'm also there to get a second opinion on my breathing. Sometimes I just feel like I can't get a breath and the woman I went to see said it was stress related. But I'd just like a second opinion on it so I can rest easy. Easier anyways. It doesn't happen often but when it does I can't shake it for like a week. 

I'm planning on a bowl of frozen yoghurt and jelly momentarily. I fancy something nice and the jelly is only 10 calories and the yoghurt will be around 100 so yeah, nice treat for me. It's fat day tomorrow which is the mantra I kept chanting as my mother was wafting all the lovely things she'd bought today at Morrisons. Honestly she's a nightmare if you unleash her into that shop alone. None of us needs the crap she's buying but will that stop her? NOPE.

Right, I'm going to go and not think about the doctor's for the rest of the evening and try to calm my stupid stomach..
Tatty boo! 

All kinds of coughing

I'm pretty much over my cold now. Just have this sort of chesty cough which is clinging on in there but hopefully I should be rid of that too soon (even though my mum keeps insisting it's a lot more awful than it is...). I haven't really been posting much on here because to be honest, I didn't really feel like doing it and also I wasn't really doing any sort of exercise over the past week. 

I gave up on the idea when it first struck because I felt awful, then had one day of doing exercise, then it was fat day and then after the cough struck (I don't always get a cough with a cold but when I do it lingers) and I decided not to bother because it would only exacerbate my chest. But, despite that I was trying to control my calories enough that it wouldn't make a massive impact and it didn't! I got on the scales this morning and I'm down another pound. Not bad at all considering I had zero motivation and just wanted to eat warm, comforting food all the time to make myself feel better. 

I'm down to 13 stone 11 pounds now. I feel that once I make it to single figures I will feel like I am well inside the 13 stone mark. That's how it worked with all the other milestones so far, I'd get to like 14 stone 9 and then any sort of fluctuations would happen only between lower numbers and the nine. I think subconsciously I just didn't want to cross back over into the double digit territory which is always good motivation. I am very excited to be losing weight again though! 

Today's exercise was sooo easy. I have no idea. Well I do, two days ago I had the urge to watch the Battlestar Galactica mini series..which is about a three hour long introduction to the series (which I am not planning on re-watching just yet). So I decided to go with it, I find the exercise goes much quicker when I'm watching something I feel like watching. Today being a fine example of that very phenomenon. I was so involved in what was going on on screen I barely noticed the 40 minutes flying by. It was awesome. I did my 'rowing' too which I'm hoping is having some sort of good effect on my arms. I mean I guess the muscles do feel a little more solid...better than nothing anyway. And as I have discussed before I can't do too much with my arms because my neck muscles play up and go wild. Could be something to do with the warm up but I don't know. 

Food wise I have been good too I think. I skipped breakfast as I have been doing during the week at work (I relent on a weekend because I don't get home till 2) and had a gluten free bread sub, half with half an avocado, tomato and garlic and half with blueberry jam. I also had a yoghurt and later a malteasers bunny with a coffee..Incidentally I think the coffee does not agree with me after all this time of not having it. Someone had used my decaf so I used regular and my stomach has been playing up this evening. Not chancing it again I don't think. Tea was two teeny baked potatoes with low fat cottage cheese, a slice of bacon and some beans. I had another yoghurt with that as a desert because I wanted to..Then I've just had a bowl of coco pops as I was starting to feel a bit peckish again. All in all I should be around the 1500 mark, and definitely below it with the exercise so a good day all round. No nibbling for me! 

Right I think that'll have to do for now. I need to go and get a beverage and wind down for sleeps, and also take my old doggy down for a wee as she's been up here a few hours without one...That and she keeps dropping death farts and it's starting to make my eyes water.
Tatty boo!

Still illlllllugh

I'm still pretty much dying right now. Well no let's not get too dramatic, I mean I'm only a little ways on my death bed. So yesterday was fat day and I ate a lot...not as much as a usual fat day though because of the cold but I felt so much like I'd overeaten for a big part of the evening when I'd only eaten like a McDonald's for dinner...I have no idea it was weird. I spent most of yesterday just coughing, a trend which has continued into today unfortunately. My colds tend to be one day of a bad throat feeling, then the nose stuff happens for one or two days, then if I'm totally unlucky I'll get a cough and it tends to persist for like a week so that's what looks like what's going to happen. So I'm not bothering with exercise today. I'll try to just keep my food intake as low as I can and maybe walk the dog for a bit because it's not a bad day outside. It'll just exasperate my chest at the moment to do any sort of aerobic exercise and my throat is already pretty raw from all the hacking as it is. I know right, cry me a river?

I didn't do any exercise on Tuesday either if I remember right. I was feeling pretty rough that day in general and also couldn't taste much of anything. I was planning on eating less but I had a bit too much cake so I don't know..I got over excited when I could taste for a brief window and needed chocolate. Today though I've not had breakfast so that's good although I'm pretty hungry right now. I just had a handful of leftover Doritos so I'm thinking that was about 100 calories. Probably less but better to overestimate. Dinner today is going to be a thing I saw Nigella do once, well two thirds of it anyways. I'm going to toast my last gluten free roll at 250 calories, and top one half with half an avocado (120 calories) mixed with some tomato and garlic, and the other half will be topped with some smushed chickpeas and a little olive oil. I don't know how many calories are in a can of those but we'll see. Then I'll just have some fruit or something and round it up. I'm totally ready for that like. Omnomnom. Unless my Avocado isn't ready to be eaten..then I'll just leave it for another couple of days and have soups instead. We'll see.

Tea tonight is lasagne if I remember correctly. Bought some lovely black olives to top it too. I don't know why but I love cold olives on top of hot tomato based food. Like pizza too, I don't know if I like them cooked because I haven't tried. But I always like to cut up some cold ones and dump them on top. Lovely. 

Right I'm going to go now I think. Like I say I'm pretty hungry and all this talk of food is going to make me want to snack on something soon so I best stop talking about it...

I'm instead going to spend the remainder of the day wrapped in my duvet trying to hack up a lung. 

Tatty boo!

Illness (again)

So I'm ill again. I was in work yesterday and couldn't stop sneezing. I figured it was hayfever what with us having the very beginnings of spring (although we're all rain down in the South West). But then I got home, had my Sunday roast and predictably passed out, and when I woke up I was like full blown cold. Needless to say I didn't feel like exercising so I didn't. But I also didn't really feel like eating in the evening so it probably balanced out. I did have a piece of home made chocolate cake whilst we watched the Hobbit, which isn't great I know (the cake, not the Hobbit) but it was in place of a meal so I don't care. I got into work today and the culprit came in hacking and sneezing. I was like YOOOuuuuu lol. Sharing is caring I guess..

Today has been a bit of a bust food wise. I've exercised and everything but in between I have just over indulged somewhat which is stupid and cancels out any good the exercise does I know. But I keep going through feeling like I don't want food ever to being like RAVENOUS and eating the kitchen bricks. I don't remember everything I had for dinner but I know it was trickling over into the too many calorie category. Then for tea mum had made me a leeetle pie (with gluten free flour bless her heart) which was cheese and bacon..although there wasn't a lot of it and it was a small pie. I had that with some beans. But I've also picked at the cake too..I haven't had a slice I just keep nicking bits of the chocolate when I suddenly have a weird need for food. 

I'll get back on it tomorrow though. The good news is that I weighed myself this morning and I'm 13 stone 12 again. I weighed myself mid week after all my birthday indulgences and I'd gotten back up to 14 stone 1 and was very disheartened. But luckily I've managed to shift that extra nonsense. So hurrah, back on track. My next sort of friend meet up is not till May now so I have a good month in which to get some proper weight loss going. Hopefully tomorrow with it being the peak of my cold (day three and four typically tend to kick my arse) I won't want to eat much. Probably just some soup. So that will (artificially) help. 

I've been watching Lauren Luke on youtube (panacea81) and she's doing something at the moment called the Cambridge diet. Absolute load of nonsense in my honest opinion (and I told her so too) but she has lost a good deal of weight in a fairly small time frame. Not surprisingly though, it's another one of those fad diets. You basically pay over the nose, 60 quid a week if I remember rightly, and some random person with a fake background in nutrition gives you three packets of food to eat a day. One soup, one shake and one oatmeal. That's it, and I think she said it was like 500 calories a day. Absolutely hate those things with a passion. I am tempted to do something like that for the quick fix, but the thing is when you see these daft celebrities doing these diets, they've all put on several stone a few months later when they're back on real food again. Still like she said, it's given her a different appreciation of food which wouldn't be a bad thing. But I just reckon if I had the willpower to starve myself on a daily basis like that, I would have the same will power to apply to eating healthily. 

I'm getting there though, slowly but surely. I mean I'm at 5.5 stone now and yes I've plateaued a bit recently but I just need to keep thinking of that number. It's almost an entire person if you think about it! 

Anyways, that'll do for now. I'm going to go wallow in some self pity some more 
Tatty boo x

Jenna Marbles

Has anyone ever seen that 'what I would have done in Cancun' video by Jenna Marbles?

I'm never eating again. I just decided.

So I'm pretty hungry

Man, who invented the need for food? I swear if there is such a thing as a Jesus (there isn't) I'm going to smack him upside the head when I die. I did breakfast this morning because I was supposed to be going to a day of post work set building..well more like a couple of hours so I figured going with breakfast and then a smaller dinner it would see me through alright. So after work I went to a mini Tesco nearby to grab some sort of meal deal to eat in the car and that was where the first round of problems started. They didn't have any sushi type stuff which was what I was originally planning seeing as how I have been trying to cut back on the wheat. So instead I grabbed a wrap thinking it was less dense than bread and therefore not as bad. Anyways, that plus a bag of 50 calorie fruit pieces and some water and boom, dinner sorted.

Get dropped at the..lets call it the workshop. Get dropped at the workshop and wave mum off as she abandons me and I'm stood pressing the bell (they keep the door locked during the day too)...nothing. No one and nothing. So I'm like right...press it again. Nothing also. Two big knocks....bell...knock again...futilely attempt to find the phone number via crappy Blackberry internets...get bored and walk across town for the bus. So that was a thing. Good for the walking anyways I guess. (Turns out the bell is faulty and they couldn't hear me knocking..I now have the phone number for next time). I also happened to cross paths with Holland and Barret and they had the zero noodles stocked. Noodles made of magic which are only like 4 calories per 100g. So that's a thing I'll be trying on not fat day! Anyways, grabbed my bus and then walked home from that and I was already feeling a tad peckish. I had some leftover calories so I had a Malteaser bunny and a cup of green tea. 

Anyways, tea rolled round a little later and mum had done steak, chips, a little salad and some onion rings so not the very bestest of tea times calorie wise but I figured with the walking and the planned exercise it wouldn't be too too bad. Then dad was like hey, want a piece of this crusty bread and jam before we have to chuck it out? 

Yes. Yes I do. Screw my wheat cutting down and screw anything else, I need a slice of that toasted with jam. And I did. But it was a small slice and previous rules apply. I've just finished doing my exercise. I was bargaining my way out of not doing it again because quite frankly I can't be arsed sometimes. But I dragged my fat ass on there and we finished up X Men 2 (I refuse to remember that number 3 exists so that's the end of the X Men journey for now). Post work out I figured I'd bum about the internets for a bit because I'm off work tomorrow and I figure a late shower doesn't matter tonight...and now I'm hungry again. Tea was like just under four hours ago and I plan on being awake for a canny few hours to come...and I'm hungry. Not starving mind. Like, two slices of toast hungry. But that's two slices too many. I'm out of calories. I could stretch to maybe an orange which I think I might have to do later..but I don't want an orange. I want something tasty and filling. 

Too long I've been caving in to eating when hungry I think to the point where I just used to always graze to stop ever feeling hungry. Instant gratification. Not a good thing really. So I'm going to sit here and be angry and hungry and moan a little bit about it to myself (and apparently on the blog) and basically hate the world for having so many tasty foods so accessible to my podgy little arms.

Still, worth it for the promise of hip bones right?
Tatty boo x