Aarrgghfllblarghh

Think the title sums up my feelings currently quite nicely. Aside from my weigh in feelings. My weigh in feelings are more along the lines of a WOO and also a HOO. I lost the pound and a bit I put on whilst traversing the north and now weigh 13 stone 12. I feel like I have finally bust through the ceiling which was keeping me in the 14 stone region. Like I'm losing weight again which is awesome. It is my birthday this week however, so naturally I will be having copious amounts of cake so I might undo my good work. We'll see.

I've been disenchanted with the weight loss thing recently. Mum bought this four pack of amazing looking blueberry muffins and to be honest, I just wanted to stick my face in them. I so wish I was someone who didn't care for food. Life would be so much more simples. But what can you do. I didn't stick my face in them as it happens. I do on occasion exhibit willpower, not often enough though. But all I wanted in the world was that muffin. Clearly my depriving myself of tasty foods is helping though, although I have only technically lost like ten pounds since Christmas..sounds a lot but not when you think it's April today. I could have almost been at the end of this journey if I stopped eating all the things! 

Still, a loss is always a good thing so I'm happy with that. And it's two days to fat day and I get to much my way through the two easter eggs I didn't actually eat on easter what with me being on a diet and all..I don't know how well I've done today calorie wise. I mean I know I've stuck to my limits, and the skipping breakfast (apart from an apple) does help when I slightly go over the boundaries. But we did have another Sunday dinner for tea and I ate several thousand roasties so I don't know. I think I'm fairly sure I'm over the 700 today but oh well. A life without roasties is no life at all and I refuse to get rid of them.

I'm going to be going to the doctor sometime soon hopefully. I don't know if I have low blood pressure or something but I have an awful lot of dizzy spells and moments where I have headaches and my breathing goes a bit weird. When I went to see a doctor last time after I convinced myself I was having a two day heart attack, she said it was all to do with stress and panic. Reading up about it it does seem like a lot of my symptoms are down to stressing out all the time which I try not to do but I'm a worrier when it comes to my health sometimes and it's a vicious circle. So I'd like a second opinion just to ease my mind. I hate feeling like I can't get enough breath into my lungs, but when I saw her she had a finger clip thing which measures the concentration of oxygen in your blood and mine was like 98% and I think she said that normal levels are around 95% so I clearly do have enough oxygen...it's just me panicking and thinking I don't. Absolute barrel o laughs this like. 

Anyways, I really do need to go and have a shower. I did my exercise a while back and I keept putting off the shower because it's cold and frankly I can't be arsed. But I must as I have work in the morning. Boo and also hiss.

For now though, tatty boo!