I'm a terrible person

Both for not posting for ages and also because I've just eaten a Crunchie. I basically decided this morning that I wasn't going to exercise..I don't ever feel like it on Sunday's so I figured why fight it and then have three days of exercise fatigue where I just hate everything about it. Today isn't a fat day however, but I did just succumb to the siren shout of a Crunchie. We had a pork roast for dinner and I had breakfast too so I can't justify it..all I can do is fix it with my tea time option. I reckon if I just have like some soup and a yoghurt I'll be right as rain anyways...

I'm so tired right now which is entirely stupid. I was knackered last night at ten o' clock and I figured why bother fighting it? So I got into bed and ended up falling asleep around half past, meaning I got my full eight hours in time for a Sunday for once. Woke up this morning feeling not tired at all which is entirely unusual...and then did work. Then one post work roast later here I am absolutely shattered again. I think it might just be a combination of epic meal plus it being inherently Sunday that makes me feel like this. I'm resisting naps though..although not really sure why. I'm no good to anyone in this state.

This week has been a good week diet wise I think. I haven't been keeping a record of what I have eaten since my last post, but I have exercised everyday and not over eaten by much I don't think. Tomorrow will tell anyways as it's weigh day. The last time I signed off I think I was due at the doctors. Entirely a blight on my week but it went by without a hitch. I had to get my blood pressure taken for my contraceptive and it turns out that it's fine. Usually it's on the cusp of being high although he tells me that's probably white coat syndrome, but this time it was normal even with my heart going like a freight train with nerves. He says he 'trusts me' to keep losing weight and has changed my prescription from seeing him every three months to seeing him every six (even though I skipped out on seeing him the last two times anyway..). Good to know he thinks I'm progressing though.

I'd lost two stone since I last saw him (shows you how long ago it was) so he was pleased anyways which is always a good thing. As to my breathing, I've been getting times where I feel like I just can't get a good breath. Like I'm breathing and nothing is happening. So I end up yawning constantly trying to get a good breath in me and then I end up dizzy, with headaches, tension along my shoulders. All sorts of fun stuff. He thinks it's all stress though so I'm happy to go with that...much as it's entirely ridiculous to stress yourself out to the point where you can't breathe. But still hopefully I'll be able to just calm myself down and zen out a bit and get on top of this high anxiety I've experienced over the last few years. 

Hopefully I'll have a good weigh in tomorrow. Just one pound and I'll be happy and know I'm heading in the right direction! 

That'll do for now
Tatty boo! 

(side note: my dog has hiccups and it's adorable)

Frozen yogurt and jelly

Welp, today has been good diet wise I feel. Skipped out on breakfast again and again found myself a lot less hungry than when I eat it. I went a bit over board at dinner though. Had two gluten free slices of toast, one with half an avocado and tomato and the other with blue berry jam again. But I also had some quavers because I needed them, and a yoghurt...and then a malteasers bunny a little later. I did have the calories for it though, and the 200 should cover the over spill so it should be fine. Tea was steak and salad with prawns and cous cous so not terrible. Lean meats and salads.

I've done my exercise too. Had a moment in the middle where I just didn't think I could finish. It happens sometimes, I just suddenly get really tired. But for the most part it went ok. Finishing up Battlestar Galactica the mini series so I have one more day on the back of that and then I don't know what to watch. I said I wouldn't be starting the series again but whenever I watch the mini series I just WANT to...so I might watch the first few episodes and see how it goes. The earlier seasons are my favourite of the series anyways so yeah, we'll just see. 

My stomach is beating out a samba again tonight. I didn't have any coffee today so I don't know what it's problem is..unless it's because I'm due at the doctor's tomorrow. I'm thinking my IBS is stress triggered because I haven't had any wheat apart from in the malteasers bunny..and the only dairy I've had is a yoghurt which doesn't usually bother me. So yeah. Funsies. I'm going tomorrow to get my blood pressure sorted so the snarky receptionists quit writing snarky notes on my pill prescription telling me I haven't had it done for months...but I'm also there to get a second opinion on my breathing. Sometimes I just feel like I can't get a breath and the woman I went to see said it was stress related. But I'd just like a second opinion on it so I can rest easy. Easier anyways. It doesn't happen often but when it does I can't shake it for like a week. 

I'm planning on a bowl of frozen yoghurt and jelly momentarily. I fancy something nice and the jelly is only 10 calories and the yoghurt will be around 100 so yeah, nice treat for me. It's fat day tomorrow which is the mantra I kept chanting as my mother was wafting all the lovely things she'd bought today at Morrisons. Honestly she's a nightmare if you unleash her into that shop alone. None of us needs the crap she's buying but will that stop her? NOPE.

Right, I'm going to go and not think about the doctor's for the rest of the evening and try to calm my stupid stomach..
Tatty boo! 

All kinds of coughing

I'm pretty much over my cold now. Just have this sort of chesty cough which is clinging on in there but hopefully I should be rid of that too soon (even though my mum keeps insisting it's a lot more awful than it is...). I haven't really been posting much on here because to be honest, I didn't really feel like doing it and also I wasn't really doing any sort of exercise over the past week. 

I gave up on the idea when it first struck because I felt awful, then had one day of doing exercise, then it was fat day and then after the cough struck (I don't always get a cough with a cold but when I do it lingers) and I decided not to bother because it would only exacerbate my chest. But, despite that I was trying to control my calories enough that it wouldn't make a massive impact and it didn't! I got on the scales this morning and I'm down another pound. Not bad at all considering I had zero motivation and just wanted to eat warm, comforting food all the time to make myself feel better. 

I'm down to 13 stone 11 pounds now. I feel that once I make it to single figures I will feel like I am well inside the 13 stone mark. That's how it worked with all the other milestones so far, I'd get to like 14 stone 9 and then any sort of fluctuations would happen only between lower numbers and the nine. I think subconsciously I just didn't want to cross back over into the double digit territory which is always good motivation. I am very excited to be losing weight again though! 

Today's exercise was sooo easy. I have no idea. Well I do, two days ago I had the urge to watch the Battlestar Galactica mini series..which is about a three hour long introduction to the series (which I am not planning on re-watching just yet). So I decided to go with it, I find the exercise goes much quicker when I'm watching something I feel like watching. Today being a fine example of that very phenomenon. I was so involved in what was going on on screen I barely noticed the 40 minutes flying by. It was awesome. I did my 'rowing' too which I'm hoping is having some sort of good effect on my arms. I mean I guess the muscles do feel a little more solid...better than nothing anyway. And as I have discussed before I can't do too much with my arms because my neck muscles play up and go wild. Could be something to do with the warm up but I don't know. 

Food wise I have been good too I think. I skipped breakfast as I have been doing during the week at work (I relent on a weekend because I don't get home till 2) and had a gluten free bread sub, half with half an avocado, tomato and garlic and half with blueberry jam. I also had a yoghurt and later a malteasers bunny with a coffee..Incidentally I think the coffee does not agree with me after all this time of not having it. Someone had used my decaf so I used regular and my stomach has been playing up this evening. Not chancing it again I don't think. Tea was two teeny baked potatoes with low fat cottage cheese, a slice of bacon and some beans. I had another yoghurt with that as a desert because I wanted to..Then I've just had a bowl of coco pops as I was starting to feel a bit peckish again. All in all I should be around the 1500 mark, and definitely below it with the exercise so a good day all round. No nibbling for me! 

Right I think that'll have to do for now. I need to go and get a beverage and wind down for sleeps, and also take my old doggy down for a wee as she's been up here a few hours without one...That and she keeps dropping death farts and it's starting to make my eyes water.
Tatty boo!

Still illlllllugh

I'm still pretty much dying right now. Well no let's not get too dramatic, I mean I'm only a little ways on my death bed. So yesterday was fat day and I ate a lot...not as much as a usual fat day though because of the cold but I felt so much like I'd overeaten for a big part of the evening when I'd only eaten like a McDonald's for dinner...I have no idea it was weird. I spent most of yesterday just coughing, a trend which has continued into today unfortunately. My colds tend to be one day of a bad throat feeling, then the nose stuff happens for one or two days, then if I'm totally unlucky I'll get a cough and it tends to persist for like a week so that's what looks like what's going to happen. So I'm not bothering with exercise today. I'll try to just keep my food intake as low as I can and maybe walk the dog for a bit because it's not a bad day outside. It'll just exasperate my chest at the moment to do any sort of aerobic exercise and my throat is already pretty raw from all the hacking as it is. I know right, cry me a river?

I didn't do any exercise on Tuesday either if I remember right. I was feeling pretty rough that day in general and also couldn't taste much of anything. I was planning on eating less but I had a bit too much cake so I don't know..I got over excited when I could taste for a brief window and needed chocolate. Today though I've not had breakfast so that's good although I'm pretty hungry right now. I just had a handful of leftover Doritos so I'm thinking that was about 100 calories. Probably less but better to overestimate. Dinner today is going to be a thing I saw Nigella do once, well two thirds of it anyways. I'm going to toast my last gluten free roll at 250 calories, and top one half with half an avocado (120 calories) mixed with some tomato and garlic, and the other half will be topped with some smushed chickpeas and a little olive oil. I don't know how many calories are in a can of those but we'll see. Then I'll just have some fruit or something and round it up. I'm totally ready for that like. Omnomnom. Unless my Avocado isn't ready to be eaten..then I'll just leave it for another couple of days and have soups instead. We'll see.

Tea tonight is lasagne if I remember correctly. Bought some lovely black olives to top it too. I don't know why but I love cold olives on top of hot tomato based food. Like pizza too, I don't know if I like them cooked because I haven't tried. But I always like to cut up some cold ones and dump them on top. Lovely. 

Right I'm going to go now I think. Like I say I'm pretty hungry and all this talk of food is going to make me want to snack on something soon so I best stop talking about it...

I'm instead going to spend the remainder of the day wrapped in my duvet trying to hack up a lung. 

Tatty boo!

Illness (again)

So I'm ill again. I was in work yesterday and couldn't stop sneezing. I figured it was hayfever what with us having the very beginnings of spring (although we're all rain down in the South West). But then I got home, had my Sunday roast and predictably passed out, and when I woke up I was like full blown cold. Needless to say I didn't feel like exercising so I didn't. But I also didn't really feel like eating in the evening so it probably balanced out. I did have a piece of home made chocolate cake whilst we watched the Hobbit, which isn't great I know (the cake, not the Hobbit) but it was in place of a meal so I don't care. I got into work today and the culprit came in hacking and sneezing. I was like YOOOuuuuu lol. Sharing is caring I guess..

Today has been a bit of a bust food wise. I've exercised and everything but in between I have just over indulged somewhat which is stupid and cancels out any good the exercise does I know. But I keep going through feeling like I don't want food ever to being like RAVENOUS and eating the kitchen bricks. I don't remember everything I had for dinner but I know it was trickling over into the too many calorie category. Then for tea mum had made me a leeetle pie (with gluten free flour bless her heart) which was cheese and bacon..although there wasn't a lot of it and it was a small pie. I had that with some beans. But I've also picked at the cake too..I haven't had a slice I just keep nicking bits of the chocolate when I suddenly have a weird need for food. 

I'll get back on it tomorrow though. The good news is that I weighed myself this morning and I'm 13 stone 12 again. I weighed myself mid week after all my birthday indulgences and I'd gotten back up to 14 stone 1 and was very disheartened. But luckily I've managed to shift that extra nonsense. So hurrah, back on track. My next sort of friend meet up is not till May now so I have a good month in which to get some proper weight loss going. Hopefully tomorrow with it being the peak of my cold (day three and four typically tend to kick my arse) I won't want to eat much. Probably just some soup. So that will (artificially) help. 

I've been watching Lauren Luke on youtube (panacea81) and she's doing something at the moment called the Cambridge diet. Absolute load of nonsense in my honest opinion (and I told her so too) but she has lost a good deal of weight in a fairly small time frame. Not surprisingly though, it's another one of those fad diets. You basically pay over the nose, 60 quid a week if I remember rightly, and some random person with a fake background in nutrition gives you three packets of food to eat a day. One soup, one shake and one oatmeal. That's it, and I think she said it was like 500 calories a day. Absolutely hate those things with a passion. I am tempted to do something like that for the quick fix, but the thing is when you see these daft celebrities doing these diets, they've all put on several stone a few months later when they're back on real food again. Still like she said, it's given her a different appreciation of food which wouldn't be a bad thing. But I just reckon if I had the willpower to starve myself on a daily basis like that, I would have the same will power to apply to eating healthily. 

I'm getting there though, slowly but surely. I mean I'm at 5.5 stone now and yes I've plateaued a bit recently but I just need to keep thinking of that number. It's almost an entire person if you think about it! 

Anyways, that'll do for now. I'm going to go wallow in some self pity some more 
Tatty boo x

Jenna Marbles

Has anyone ever seen that 'what I would have done in Cancun' video by Jenna Marbles?

I'm never eating again. I just decided.

So I'm pretty hungry

Man, who invented the need for food? I swear if there is such a thing as a Jesus (there isn't) I'm going to smack him upside the head when I die. I did breakfast this morning because I was supposed to be going to a day of post work set building..well more like a couple of hours so I figured going with breakfast and then a smaller dinner it would see me through alright. So after work I went to a mini Tesco nearby to grab some sort of meal deal to eat in the car and that was where the first round of problems started. They didn't have any sushi type stuff which was what I was originally planning seeing as how I have been trying to cut back on the wheat. So instead I grabbed a wrap thinking it was less dense than bread and therefore not as bad. Anyways, that plus a bag of 50 calorie fruit pieces and some water and boom, dinner sorted.

Get dropped at the..lets call it the workshop. Get dropped at the workshop and wave mum off as she abandons me and I'm stood pressing the bell (they keep the door locked during the day too)...nothing. No one and nothing. So I'm like right...press it again. Nothing also. Two big knocks....bell...knock again...futilely attempt to find the phone number via crappy Blackberry internets...get bored and walk across town for the bus. So that was a thing. Good for the walking anyways I guess. (Turns out the bell is faulty and they couldn't hear me knocking..I now have the phone number for next time). I also happened to cross paths with Holland and Barret and they had the zero noodles stocked. Noodles made of magic which are only like 4 calories per 100g. So that's a thing I'll be trying on not fat day! Anyways, grabbed my bus and then walked home from that and I was already feeling a tad peckish. I had some leftover calories so I had a Malteaser bunny and a cup of green tea. 

Anyways, tea rolled round a little later and mum had done steak, chips, a little salad and some onion rings so not the very bestest of tea times calorie wise but I figured with the walking and the planned exercise it wouldn't be too too bad. Then dad was like hey, want a piece of this crusty bread and jam before we have to chuck it out? 

Yes. Yes I do. Screw my wheat cutting down and screw anything else, I need a slice of that toasted with jam. And I did. But it was a small slice and previous rules apply. I've just finished doing my exercise. I was bargaining my way out of not doing it again because quite frankly I can't be arsed sometimes. But I dragged my fat ass on there and we finished up X Men 2 (I refuse to remember that number 3 exists so that's the end of the X Men journey for now). Post work out I figured I'd bum about the internets for a bit because I'm off work tomorrow and I figure a late shower doesn't matter tonight...and now I'm hungry again. Tea was like just under four hours ago and I plan on being awake for a canny few hours to come...and I'm hungry. Not starving mind. Like, two slices of toast hungry. But that's two slices too many. I'm out of calories. I could stretch to maybe an orange which I think I might have to do later..but I don't want an orange. I want something tasty and filling. 

Too long I've been caving in to eating when hungry I think to the point where I just used to always graze to stop ever feeling hungry. Instant gratification. Not a good thing really. So I'm going to sit here and be angry and hungry and moan a little bit about it to myself (and apparently on the blog) and basically hate the world for having so many tasty foods so accessible to my podgy little arms.

Still, worth it for the promise of hip bones right?
Tatty boo x

Shhh it's fine...

Yeah I've been entirely absent recently. I don't think anyone would care that the last four days have basically been a cake fest...well not so much four days...shut up. It was my birthday on the Friday and a friend of mine decided that Wednesday we'd go to the aquarium and then basically eat delicious food and get drunk. Which we did entirely and with abandon. It was fat day anyway so I wasn't the least bit bothered about that. But I didn't really eat an awful lot of terrible food what with being so busy being drunk..we'd had an amazing fries based meal at Revolution (vodka bar for anyone not in the know) which basically consisted of fries, deliciousness and cheese. Lots of cheese. Then we drank everything they had to offer before rolling home later. So fast forward to the next day and I felt done over by my lack of chocolate on fat day, so I thought bugger it and had another fat day..and then on Friday it was my birthday and we had to have chinese food and all kinds of cake. Not my best week but it was my birthday so I don't really care. Saturday I was doing well but had some left over cake and a bit of easter egg so another write off. But Sunday, although I didn't do any exercise as I felt like re-starting today would be the best idea, I didn't do too badly. I didn't over eat anyways so not too terrible.

Today I have been entirely good. I have been getting along with not skipping breakfast totally but instead eating just a piece of fruit. Apples and bananas are the current alternating favourites. This morning's offering was a banana. Dinner was a 200 calorie delcious salad with a gluten free ciabatta bread roll and a soy yoghurt. I topped that off with a kitkat and a coffee a little later and a handful of grapes. Tea was probably a little more calorie laden as it was sausage and liver casserole with mash and dumplings, but I refused the offer of extra sausages much as I love them, and I have also done all my exercise so I'm thinking it should balance itself out. Absolutely stuffed too, the kind of stuffed where I feel like I'm not going to be starving in two hours time which is always a good thing. Should I get hungry I'll just have another piece of fruit and hope that the breakfast calories I haven't used cover it. Should do mind.

I haven't bothered weighing myself this week because I felt like as I haven't stuck to any sort of healthy eating, calorie controlled nonsense I am  likely to have put on either one or two pounds. And after the success of last week finally pushing through my 14 stone demon. I felt that should that be the case it would more than likely hit me in the motivation so I just didn't bother. I'll pick it up proper again this week. 

Turns out though that the unhealthy foods are the ones which agree with me the least. When I went to Sheffield and ate everything it took about three days for my system to get back to normal. Likewise this time, although I wasn't eating so much rich food, I have felt sluggish in the digestion. I need to really get into hardcore mode with my diet and sort it the hell out and get it under some sort of control. Not something I can do really though whilst I'm living at home so much. We don't have an awful lot of money as a family so I can't expect, nor afford, mum to go out doing an extra side shop just for me so I can have a different meal from the family every night. Although our collective diets are somewhat better these days although a far cry from what they could be. It's not like we're one of those families which live on processed or frozen foods though thankfully. There was a period of time where that was the norm because mum was working and there was no time for cooking but she's unemployed these days due to health problems. 

I also found out today that I have gone off coffee somewhat too. I have been drinking green tea for the most part over the last few months, whereas before it would be three to four cups of coffee a day. I went to make a caffeine free one and found it was all gone...thanks to my brother I would guess. So I had to spring for the normal one because I'd been fancying the idea of a coffee since the night beforeut I didn't enjoy it really. I drank it more to avoid waste over anything else. I don't know if it's just the phase I'm going through or if I genuinely just don't care for it so much these days. I do tend to habitually eat or drink something in weird phases of varying lengths however. Like with fruit, I don't often eat apples but recently I can't get enough of them. We'll see though, I always seem to enjoy a green tea. 

I think that'll do here for now. I'm yet to shower post exercise and I think that's a good plan followed by watching The Hobbit which I got as a late birthday present today from Mum <3 

Tatty boo!

Aarrgghfllblarghh

Think the title sums up my feelings currently quite nicely. Aside from my weigh in feelings. My weigh in feelings are more along the lines of a WOO and also a HOO. I lost the pound and a bit I put on whilst traversing the north and now weigh 13 stone 12. I feel like I have finally bust through the ceiling which was keeping me in the 14 stone region. Like I'm losing weight again which is awesome. It is my birthday this week however, so naturally I will be having copious amounts of cake so I might undo my good work. We'll see.

I've been disenchanted with the weight loss thing recently. Mum bought this four pack of amazing looking blueberry muffins and to be honest, I just wanted to stick my face in them. I so wish I was someone who didn't care for food. Life would be so much more simples. But what can you do. I didn't stick my face in them as it happens. I do on occasion exhibit willpower, not often enough though. But all I wanted in the world was that muffin. Clearly my depriving myself of tasty foods is helping though, although I have only technically lost like ten pounds since Christmas..sounds a lot but not when you think it's April today. I could have almost been at the end of this journey if I stopped eating all the things! 

Still, a loss is always a good thing so I'm happy with that. And it's two days to fat day and I get to much my way through the two easter eggs I didn't actually eat on easter what with me being on a diet and all..I don't know how well I've done today calorie wise. I mean I know I've stuck to my limits, and the skipping breakfast (apart from an apple) does help when I slightly go over the boundaries. But we did have another Sunday dinner for tea and I ate several thousand roasties so I don't know. I think I'm fairly sure I'm over the 700 today but oh well. A life without roasties is no life at all and I refuse to get rid of them.

I'm going to be going to the doctor sometime soon hopefully. I don't know if I have low blood pressure or something but I have an awful lot of dizzy spells and moments where I have headaches and my breathing goes a bit weird. When I went to see a doctor last time after I convinced myself I was having a two day heart attack, she said it was all to do with stress and panic. Reading up about it it does seem like a lot of my symptoms are down to stressing out all the time which I try not to do but I'm a worrier when it comes to my health sometimes and it's a vicious circle. So I'd like a second opinion just to ease my mind. I hate feeling like I can't get enough breath into my lungs, but when I saw her she had a finger clip thing which measures the concentration of oxygen in your blood and mine was like 98% and I think she said that normal levels are around 95% so I clearly do have enough oxygen...it's just me panicking and thinking I don't. Absolute barrel o laughs this like. 

Anyways, I really do need to go and have a shower. I did my exercise a while back and I keept putting off the shower because it's cold and frankly I can't be arsed. But I must as I have work in the morning. Boo and also hiss.

For now though, tatty boo! 

Marmite

I may or may not have fallen off the no breakfast bandwagon already...I know it will be easier when I go to work and I won't have the temptation of the kitchen a mere floor away so it's fine though. I just went to sleep last night craving Marmite and woke up this morning needing it. So I figured I would oblige because I know myself; if I don't satiate a craving then I'll just think about it all day before eating twice as much of it. I went with three pieces of gluten free bread (because they're tiny) at about 70 calories each I think. Plus a clementine because mum bought a packet of them yesterday and they are delicious. 

I took off 100 calories from my dinner time allowance to deal with the extras and had a bowl of soup, a gluten free roll, a couple of clementines and a Malteasers bunny with a brew a bit later (I have to eat them at the moment...they'll be gone till next easter soon..what will I do!). Tea tonight is panackelty which is a sort of simple meal made from bacon, corned beef, potatoes and broth so it should be fairly low on the calories because I don't eat an awful lot of it before it fills me up.

I've done my exercises for today as well with round two of X Men first class. Entirely enjoying that film. It has the amazingness that the first two X Men movies had (we're forgetting that Last Stand ever happened thankyouverymuch). It also has the added benefit of Jennifer Lawrence who I absolutely adore. Total lady crush on her and I don't care who knows it!

I entirely just got sidetracked reading more news about poor old Richard Griffiths. Absolutely made me sad this morning when my mum told me about him. He's another one of those ones who's been around forever and who you think will always be around forever. A bit like Richard Briers or Geoffrey Hughes. Geoffrey Hughes is a hard one because he looks so much like my dad. To the point where he would always joke that it was his brother on tv. It worries me because both my parents are overweight. Well my whole family in fact. My older brother is pushing thirty stone I think and I don't know what to do to help any of them..I'm still battling my own weight demons and they don't seem too bothered about tackling their own.

I don't know, that took a bit of a weird turn there. I've gone and depressed myself. Think I'll just leave it there for today.

Tatty boo.

Courgette 'pasta'

Today I tried out a recipe. Well no, not a recipe, more a technique. I have mentioned my cutting back on wheat products to try and help my stomach (which incidentally is absolutely playing up to the max today and was yesterday post trip away with all kinds of naughty foods) and I wanted to try out using courgettes as a replacement for pasta. Not only wheat free but an absolute fraction of the calorie intake to boot. It's a technique which has been kicking about the internets for a while, and with the addition of a 40p peeler to our cooking arsenal I decided to give it a go. Mum had used half a squash in a random mish mash meal she cooked us yesterday and I was tasked with finishing off the other half today. So cooking my own meal felt like the perfect time to have a bash. 

The technique is simple. Take yourself a courgette or two (I had one because of the addition of all the squash but if it had been a meal in it's own right I think I would have gone for two) and then just peel it into long strips, top to bottom using a vegetable peeler. Boom, courgette pasta. I read all over the place that stopping as you hit the seeded middle is best because the seeded part doesn't make for sturdy strips and that is just what I did. I just cut the seeded part into coins and added that to the pan as well. Then I put the strips into a colander with a pinch of salt and used a bowl to weight them down to try and get rid of any excess moisture. Whilst that was sorting itself out I just peeled the remaining butternut squash and roasted it with a red onion in some garlic oil.

After that was almost cooked (about 30 minutes) I cooked up the discs of courgette with some random mushrooms from a sort of taster pack in some oil and garlic, added some already cooked and diced chicken thighs and then a touch of soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce and salt and then added the drained strips for about two minutes. That amount of time keeps them just a little crunchy which is entirely to my taste. Al dente I suppose if you're being fancy.  Anyways, that made for a very nice and filling sort of a meal. I didn't have any idea of what sauce I fancied hence the sort of lack of one. But the courgette strips are so lightly flavoured that they would literally go well in anything I think. Mine was a sort of savoury flavouring more than anything but I am no cook! It was still very nice though especially with the roasted veg. Simple and tasty, and a whole helluva lot less calories to boot! Definite success and something I am entirely planning on doing again.

As to the rest of the day, I skipped breakfast as per my plan. I find it hard being home and hungry on the morning but I know once I break myself out of the habit of eating it and once work starts again it will be a lot easier. I never used to bother with breakfast anyways so I'm fully expecting to jump back of the breakfast bandwagon without troubles. Yes it's supposed to be an important meal, but frankly it just seems like a waste of calories to me. Dinner was pea soup, a gluten free jaffa, an orange and a malteasers bunny. I had a banana and a couple of pickled onions whilst I was waiting for my tea as well a bit later. It's been a bit of a nibbly day today but I'm hoping the 200 calories I saved from breakfast should save it. I had a bit of chocolate as well..I've been craving it recently and I'm not sure why. I'll work on resisting it though. 

I have done my exercising as well much as I didn't want to...I was trying to kid myself that I was fine food wise but then I remembered the bits and bobs I have been nibbling and hauled my arse onto the bike to the tune of X men First class which is turning out to be a pretty interesting film so far. I've decided to save the rest for tomorrow as incentive to leap onto the bike without moaning as well...fingers crossed that works.

We'll see though. My brain is very much in holiday mode currently with me not being at work. Back there on Sunday, boo and hiss. Then I have my birthday off and that's it. No more holidays planned for the moment and nothing to look forward to. I'm hoping that it will kick start my arse into planning properly on moving out and getting my own place..like I think I said though, first I need to pick a city.

Anyways, I'm going to go grab a couple of clementines and a brew and settle myself down for the night. My bedtime is entirely screwed up. OH WELL.

Tatty boo!

Adventure a go-go

So I've been off gallivanting round the country again for the last few days and as a result of this my diet has suffered. Not that I'm bothered of course. I don't like to have to think about what I am and am not eating when I'm off on what is essentially a holiday. But I weighed myself this morning and after four days of not fantastic eating I have only put on a pound. So woo hoo! 

My brother goes to uni in Sheffield and as I was planning a trip to Leicester to see some of my old uni mates, my parents decided that they would take the time to go up to Sheffield and visit him and drop me off to Leicester along the way. No complaints from me. It mean I didn't have to worry about travel day and also didn't have to fork out for an 80 quid ticket. I am such a bad traveler. I alternate between nervously checking and rechecking whether I have a ticket and also that it is definitely the right day I have selected for travel. Stupid I know but that's the way my brain is wired apparently. I also HATE having connections with a passion. If there is a straight through option I'll take it nine times out of ten even if it adds hours to my journey because I just cannot stand the thought of having to trot from one mode of transport to another. I'm convinced I'm either going to fall asleep and miss it or just not get there in time or lose my baggage inbetween. Again unfounded, I've (touch wood) never had a bad time traveling really aside from the usual delays and the like. Doesn't make it any better though.

With that and my entire lack of having any sort of directional sense and I am an absolute nightmare. It's fine if I'm with someone because I know we can brainstorm and sort out everything should it go wrong, but alone I just figure I'd go into meltdown mode. And I've never flown either so that should be interesting whenever it actually does finally happen. 

Anyways, I landed in Leicester and had a whale of a time with my ladies. It's like we never left each others company even though I haven't seen them for a year for the most part. There's a group of five of us (one bloke) who meet up as often as we can but we failed over the last year. We usually get two fairly meaty jaunts in but this time we only managed the one. But we left with the promises of actually getting a proper trip together because we were missing our token chap with it being a last minute sort of plan and also it was just an overnight stay and entirely not long enough. Just what I needed though. An injection of amazing banter and company. I miss having people about me.

It led to another dilema however. I have been planning on finally moving out of the family home and going on adventures myself but I just don't have a clue which city I want to move to. Leicester was one which I was looking in to and was a side quest of me visiting my friend there to see how the city felt. But whilst I was there I had another friend give me the option of moving into her spare room in Lincoln whilst I got my feet under me if I should so chose. I love Lincoln. It is a fabulous place which is steeped in history and has an amazing castle. I love that sort of thing and it instantly appealed to me even though I hadn't really had it down as an option. So some serious research is going to be needed because, quite frankly, I am done with working in the care home. I have a few days off now before I'm due to go back and I wouldn't mind one jot if I just didn't ever darken their door again now. Over it. The job is fine, I could do it in my sleep. It's just the people. I need to work somewhere where there are more people my own age and more men. I just can't take the amount of lady nonsense that goes on.

Anwyay, I ate all the food ever in Leicester, one which was a Chinese buffet deal which crippled me. I can keep a cool head on the surface of my stomach kicking off but it hurt so bad at times. After that I went to Sheffield and stayed in a hotel with my mum and dad for a couple of days and spent too much money and ate even more food. 

Like I say though, I'm not bothered and I only put a pound on (13 stone 13 now). I got so many compliments from my friends because, like I say, I haven't seen them for a year and have lost two stone in that time. It was nice and it has given me a bit of a boost as far as weightloss goes. I woke up this morning with the plan to start skipping breakfast again. It's just wasted calories (much as I'm sitting here hungrily waiting for a dinner appropriate time) but it means that should I go over at any point today then I'll have 200 ish calories to compensate. It's meant to be fat day today but I've had a fat weekend so I'm not going to claim it. I'm not getting on the bike though because that will screw up my exercise week. We'll start that nonsense again tomorrow I think.

Anyway, mammoth post. I think that will do quite nicely for now. I'm off to compose a list of pros and cons of cities I wish to live in...or more likely play Pokemon Red for too many hours.

Tatty boo!

13 Again

Woot, so it turns out the go hungry diet actually works! Got on the scales this morning and I have lost three pounds this week. 13 stone and 12 pounds, how exciting! I mean yet again it's come at an inopportune moment because I am going to see my friends this weekend and there will be lots of eating. Plus it coincides with going to see my brother in Sheffield and there will be hotel morning breakfast eating (which I'm not going to lie, I can't wait for!). But it just shows that it does work. I mean I think I have ruined it slightly today anyway with what I have eaten. I have been eating some form of cereal for breakfast everyday with soy milk. I never know how to get 30g because we don't have any sort of digital kitchen scales and so I reckon my estimations have always been slightly on the larger side. But according to the internet, a cup of cereal is about 30g worth which is what I have been having every day and it appears it must be about right calorie counting wise if my weight loss is to be believed.

Dinner would have been good but I think some pourable yoghurt drink might have ruined it. I had a 200 calorie tin of soup, 100 calories of gluten free bread roll, a malteaster bunny and a glass of yoghurt..which I think might have pushed me overboard. Then tea was a fairly heavy calorie affair too, we had some of those 'take away' meals from Morrisons. I haven't done the maths entirely but I reckon it might be a little over my 700 calories. I haven't eaten anything else though today so if I jump on my bike in a little while I might be able to shave the excess calories off the top hopefully. 

I'm excited though. I think the combination of the minute of high paced biking every five minutes of the work out along with the not giving in to my hungry belly helps too. I need to join a spinning class maybe and get a proper high intensity work out as well. I'd like to join a gym, but like we were discussing at work, it's not worth it unless you're definitely going to go maybe five times a week. Otherwise it's a money trap, and I could very easily see me not being bothered to go on occasion. It would mean that I would be more likely to work out more, and there would be more equipment for me to use. But maybe only if I can find one which has a deal or a good price on it anyways. I can't really afford to waste money every month. We shall see anyway after I have spent all my money ever on these upcoming trips.

God knows I love seeing my friends but it isn't healthy on the old bank balance. I mean I don't mind saving but I have been having to do it every month since Christmas to pay for the places I've wanted to go. I'm good at it though, I haven't gone outside my boundaries and I have still managed to squirrel away £200 a month into my savings account for moving out of the house. Something I am hoping to do soon once I pick the city I want to move to...But it also means that inbetween the times I'm going to see my friends, I can't really afford to go and leave the house all that often. I don't really socialise down here because I don't have a friend base (finding people your own age when you're out of school is a hard thing to do when moving to a new city). But I like to go out with my mum and blow some money on the odd occasion and I haven't really been able to do that so much recently. Not complaining though I guess. I would take scrimping and saving for adventures over not any day of the week.

Anyway, like I say I'm still yet to exercise tonight. I made the fatal mistake of having a warm under my duvet after a crap night's sleep and had like a 90 minute nap instead of exercising. So I reckon I'm going to finish this up, bum about the web a little bit longer and then get my arse on the bike. Then I reckon I'm going to crack on either with a little Time Team or with the Pompeii documentaries I'm currently addicted to. I've seen a lot of Pompeii references with there being an exhibition at the British Museum at the moment and it reawoke my curiosity for the story. 

Think that'll do for now, tatty boo!

Pizza and a side of strawberries

I feel like today has been a good day. Fat day was yesterday and I basically just ate chocolate and cheese the entire day without even thinking of the calorie numbers. Today has been a much more restrained affair. 

Breakfast was the last of my gluten free muesli with soy milk. Dinner was some homemade butternut squash soup (which has cost me the use of my right thumb..more on that later) and a coconut macaroon thing. I had a banana for a snack whilst waiting for tea and then pizza. Which I know isn't great but it was a home made job, apart from the base. A gluten free base and not all that big to be honest, smaller than a dinner plate put it that way. Mum made them with all sorts of meats and veggies and not a ton of cheese so I'm thinking it wasn't so awful. Not as bad as a take away at 300+ calories a slice anyway! Then I had a bowl of delicious strawberries with some vanilla yoghurt on top. 

So yeah, not a bad day all round. That is literally everything I have eaten. I haven't had any nibbles of anything or anything like that. And I have done all my exercise as well so that's that nonsense out the way. So hopefully that should be taking me on my way to a minus this week. I ate tea around six o clock and it's getting on half nine right now and I am still pretty stuffed. I keep intermittently drinking a lot of water as well though which might be helping. Tough anyway, like I said in one of my other posts, if I get hungry I'll just have to deal with it. Time to think like a thin person. 

As to the wheat free thing I think I'm going to loosen the reigns somewhat. I'm thinking of limiting that to more stodgy items like bread and pasta and just cutting it down rather than out of my diet. I know that it can have an adverse affect when you do cut things out, especially something like wheat, because you can almost make your own body intolerant to it by doing that. So I have been nibbling on bits and pieces of things with wheat in them to see if there is any sort of correlation between my stomach kicking off and wheat and so far we're ok. So yes, maybe cutting back rather than out is the best way forward.

The dairy thing, however, I think does make sense. I had a piece of cheesecake yesterday in a sort of gungho 'balls to it' sort of way and I definitely did get bloaty after that. So I'm thinking cutting the dairy right back is a good thing too. Yoghurt and cheese not so much however. I've read that the cultures in the yoghurt break down most of the lactose in their processes so yoghurt isn't so bad to eat. And cheese I refuse to do without but I don't eat a ton of it anyway because it's so fattening. We're getting there I feel. Balances and such of things but we're getting there (hopefully).

I had a moment yesterday during fat day of wanting to make some soup for my next couple of dinners. I enjoy home made soup, especially because I know how much salt there isn't in it compared to cans, but I always find I'm too impatient fresh from work to wait for it to cook. So I cooked it in advance. I had a butternut squash lying about so I figured boom, soups sorted. They're an absolute bugger to skin though, and as I was peeling it, my thumb slipped and I impaled myself under my thumb nail with a piece of the skin on the squash. It hurt so bad and bled everywhere. I was telling myself to man up last night when it was throbbing and burning, usually I have quite a high pain threshold, but I woke up this morning to it leaking pus and being generally unpleasant. I basically waved it in front of my mum whilst moaning and she cleaned and bound it for me so hopefully it will be better tomorrow otherwise I might have to go get it checked out. 

But anyway, self maiming aside, I did create a lovely big bowl of soup. One butternut squash, two potatoes for body, garlic, salt and pepper. I wanted some onions to bring out the sweetness but we didn't have any so I had to do without. It's not as amazing as some butternut squash soups I have had but it is very simple and a little bit tasty. I have enough for a big bowlful today and another tomorrow with leftovers enough to wave in front of mum till she eats it. I don't know that it will be good for a third day. 

Anyway, I think that's good for now as updates go. I'm going to go wallow in some self pity and watch some more Time Team. My passion for which has arisen again. I forgot how much I loved it! 

Tatty boo. 

Calling it

I'm calling it now, I think this week is going to be a fat week. I have tried to keep my calorie numbers down but I am struggling at the moment for some reason. I just keep being really hungry at times. I watched a girl at work today who is a size six eating her 'dinner' and I was so enviable. Honestly, she had brought a leftover chinese and literally had two bits of beef and three forkfuls of noodles and she was done. No where near clearing half a pot of leftovers...and that's her done for the day till tea time. It blows my mind. I wish I was wired like that. The only way I could do that is to just be hungry and deal with it. I think I have too long gone with instant gratification whenever I am peckish and it's screwed the programming of my mind.

Starting Monday I am going to hardcore mode this diet thing. I am going to rigidly stick to everything and not have any sorts of nibbles or extras at all and just be hungry. I have read so much recently about actresses being starving what with awards season being about and everyone marveling at how emaciated Anne Hathaway looked in Les Mis. I also read that she was eating a couple of oatmeal crackers a day and nothing else during the prep for that movie which is, of course, unhealthy but by god I'd trade my mother for her willpower!

I think I have gotten lazy in the sense that I have lost so much already, five and almost a half stone. It feels like I should have achieved my goal and yet I have so much further to go. The next level feels almost like it should be a hop, skip and jump away. In Boots a girl hopped onto the scales whilst with her friend, and she had a pretty amazing figure. I heard her say 'oh I'm more than I thought. Eleven stone'. That's only three stone from me! I'm three stone from that! I can do it I know but it's just so tedious.

So yeah, I think it's time to just embrace being hungry and drink more tea or something because what I'm doing clearly isn't working when I'm two months from Christmas and only eight pounds down. Even with the constant exercise. I mean six times a week is a lot more than most people do and it just doesn't show. I'm sure it's doing wonders for my fitness. In fact I know my fitness is improving because the last time I visited my friend previously we walked up this ginormous hill and at the top I was fairly out of puff. This time round we did it again and whilst I was still winded, it was a lot better than the first. So I know that's improving but I just need to apply my mind to the eating thing and get out of this rut.

Next week shall be known as hunger week! And we WILL get through this brain. No you're not going to starve if you don't have a snack. Get a grip.

I'll keep you posted. Good boo.

Squash your butternuts

Good lord, I just had the most amazing tea. Roasted feta is delicious, who knew! I've only ever had it straight up, never cooked. What a fool. I had a half a butternut squash with feta on it, roasted with some baked ham and a salad. Delicious. Probably a little high on the calories with the oils and such but I reckon under 700 calories so I don't mind. 

Dinner was cock a leekie soup, Baxtors, and pretty tasty considering it came from a can. Mum made an amazing discovery too. Tesco's own gluten free rolls are delicious! It's just like a normal roll..maybe slightly chewier but absolutely lovely. I'm so happy. Shame we don't shop there often. I had a couple of gluten free jaffas as well with a brew as a mid-afternoon snack. Breakfast was a bowl of muesli and soy milk so a good day all round I feel. I have done my exercise and drying from my shower also so the rest of the evening is mine. 

I'm over my cold thank goodness. It was a bit of a mean one in the middle and I'm still dealing with the cough, but other than that it's pretty much done. Just in time for work tomorrow. I had my week off, followed by one day back at work and then my 'weekend' such was my shoe horned holidays. It's fine though, I could do a one day week any time you liked. I remember not wanting to exercise on Tuesday but I did eventually. After much persuasion on my own part. Today's biking was a tad more intense than usual. I've started incorporating bursts of high speed for a minute or so sporadically. Probably about time I intensified the workout a little so that's good, think I will continue that from now on. 

Aside from that I've done basically nothing today. Yesterday was fat day and I spent it shopping with mum and eating nice dinners and the like. Today is my 'Sunday' and I have spent it in my pjs for the most part, aside from getting changed to exercise. I bought Sherlock Holmes the movie yesterday on Blu Ray, the Robert Downey Jr one, because I love it. I wanted to get the sequel which I had not watched but CEX didn't have it stocked at the time so I watched it online when I got home...with a view to buying it Mr.Policeman sir. I love his portrayal of Sherlock. The bromance between him and Jude Law's Watson is amazing. Like an old bickering married couple, I cannot get enough. Anyway, even though I had seen the first one only about a week ago, I found myself wanting to watch it again whilst I exercised. So I obliged myself. Makes the time go by quicker when I'm watching something I really enjoy.

 Anywho, my plan for the rest of the evening is to dry out and ready myself for work, sort through all the clothes hanging on my coat stand as it is over burdened, and possibly watch some Time Team with a brew and a biscuit later. I watched one of the more recent Time Team's a couple of days ago and it reawakened my love for it. I was so saddened to hear they'd cancelled it recently, even though I haven't watched it in years, because it brought up memories of Sunday night's with my dad. Mum used to work late and he would always make me and my brothers sandwiches and cakes and the like, and we'd sit and watch Time Team together. Probably where my love of history stems from.

Anyways, that really will do, tatty bye!

All kinds of illness

Huzzah, I have returned. Currently sitting wrapped in pyjamas and a hoodie and feeling sorry for myself but I am here! I caught some sort of cold prior to leaving for my trip to Bristol to see my buddy. Just in time, thanks immune system or lack thereof. It basically meant I coughed and sneezed my way through my three day trip and even killed the night out plans we had, bless his heart. My apologies! Suppose that's a good thing as it probably saved me calories in the long run...but maybe not with the amount of crap we ate. Although we did trek the length and breadth of the city as well so it should have somewhat balanced itself out.

I weighed myself this morning anyway and I have only put on a quarter of a pound so I am very happy with that considering. I was supposed to be getting back on the horse today but I just woke up with a craving for a sausage sandwich (gluten free roll) and luckily for me we had one of those hot dog-esque Mattessons is it? Something like that, the sausage in a bag type things. It'll do in a pinch and it did. I'm not exercising today either on account of feeling like crap. Luckily for me when I was shoe horning in my remaining holidays at work I ended up taking this Monday off which I originally wasn't going to do. Otherwise I would have been at work currently whining to myself. I'm not one of those people who whines too often out loud when I'm ill but internally I can winge all I want.

I don't think I'm going to try too hard to stay within my calorie boundaries today (I just put in a request for apple juice from my Mum and we all know there's a lot of calories in fruit juice), but at the same time I'm not going to be eating all chocolate either. I probably won't have any because I did eat quite a lot of it over the weekend. Replacing meals in some instances lol, how very healthy of me. 

As to my stomach, it was well behaved the entire time luckily! I stuck to fairly plain meal options when we did eat. I had a tuna salad for one, a jacket potato for another. And managed to not eat any wheat products even though my extremely helpful friend kept insisting that I should just 'sod it and eat a piece of cake/sandwich/crepe'.

Anyway I think that'll do for an update. I'm not really planning on being helpful diet wise today and no one needs to read an entire post of 'boo poor me I'm ever so ill' (even though I am :D).

I'm probably going to do ill person naps now. Tatty boo. 

Illnesssss

My immune system crapped out on me today. It's like 'ohh you're going adventuring tomorrow? Here, take a cold with you, you'll love it'. No, no I would not. I fell asleep last night thinking how bloody thirsty I was, and woke up with a gritty and painful throat. Cheers timing, you win at everything. 

Oh well, I haven't seen the friend I'm visiting for a while so I can share it with him. I'm sure he'll enjoy that. It meant that I was dead against exercising today but then we'd had spag bol for tea and that's another one of those meals I feel like I'm constantly under valuing calorie wise, so I thought it would be for the best. That and I am not going to be doing much exercising past trecking around and sightseeing in good old Bristol town for the next few days. I'm not going to be eating an awful lot though, and what I do eat will probably be salads and stuff that hopefully won't set my stomach off. I don't want to be dealing with that for three days. 

So I hauled my arse onto that bike and did my 40 minutes, and felt pretty crap the entire time I was doing it. But I'm hoping if I just keep moving and don't stop and feel sorry for myself for too long it might just be a 24 hour thing and bugger off..here's hoping. At least it's not like a 12 hour coach ride I have to deal with tomorrow. Just 2.5 which will be easy. I'll probably just nap. Doesn't matter if I end up sitting next to someone (although I'd rather not) because it's only for a few hours..I'll just be an antisocial Sally and put my earphones in..

I think I've done alright calorie wise today. I had a small bowl of gluten free muesli and soy milk for breakfast. It's really powdery and I wasn't convinced by it when I added the milk. It went like mush and I'm very much a texture girl. But it was surprisingly delicious. It had a really silky sort of mouth feel and was really quite tasty even with the soy milk. Dinner was a tin of tomatoes with a gluten free roll and biscuits. Around 500 I think it worked out at. Just over maybe. Then tea was spag bol like I said. I also had a couple more biscuits with some tea a little while ago because I felt a bit peckish..only to feel instantly sick because of this cold. That's one good thing I guess. I don't feel like eating when I'm ill so maybe it'll work well with the not eating because of my stomach over the weekend.

We'll see anyways. Right I'm going to have to bail because I haven't finished packing (shut up).

Good boo and I'll see you in a couple of days!

THIRTEEEEENNN!

It has happened! Granted by half a pound...but I am now in the category of 13 stone something! My goodness. I haven't been 13 stone something since I was a teenager..ten years at least I reckon. So that was a nice little surprise this morning. 

I got on the scales and I'd lost two pounds. Down from 14 stone 1.5 pounds to 13 stone 13.5 pounds. How exciting! Thing is though, I am going to see a friend of mine at the weekend and I doubt I'm going to stick to my calories, even with my picky eating now when I'm with people, because we will be partaking of alcoholic beverages for the full weekend I shouldn't wonder. But still, I am excited to know that I can get there. Just a little more hard work. 

Losing two pounds this week feels pretty good considering I didn't think I was going to have a loss. But then I always feel like I have over eaten. I haven't today mind. I did have a celebratory Snickers bar but it was within my calories. I had rye toast this morning with jam and butter and a handful of grapes. Dinner has just been the Snickers and four Ryvita with ham and salad stuff. So yeah, within my 600 calories fo sho. Plus tea tonight is going to be chicken with rice aaanddd vegetables maybe. Something like that. So I'm well fine today. 

I'm about to go do my exercise. Usually I blog after it so I can say whether I was successful in doing it but I know I'm going to right now because I'm motivated to. I didn't implement my plan of eating slowly today because I went to town after work, and then mum surprised me with a trip to Morrisons..so I didn't get home til after two and I was pretty hungry. I'm fine right now however. I'd like to be able to suppress my hunger cravings with my fake coffee, but the other evening I had one and it made me feel so very sick. I don't know why. Maybe it was too late or too sweet. I have no idea. But I do know that it has made me wary of drinking it. Much as I would like to. 

Anyway I think that will do for now. Uneventful day at best aside from somewhat reaching a milestone. I'm off from work now for a week which will be blissful, but I am going to have to not boredom eat all day. Although, I did manage to go six weeks and lose a stone when I was post surgery stuck at home recovering. And I was a lot more bored then, trust me.

Toodle pip!

Dat roast

Sunday is pretty much a lather, rinse repeat affair these days...insomuch as I get home from work, get presented with a plate of roast amazingness and then inevitably fall asleep by accident in a post roastie coma type incident. 

I have eaten quite a bit today....I had another cereal bar thing with a minneola for my breakfast with another banana for break at work. I swear, one of the girls had brought in a freshly made crusty, cut it yourself loaf and made doorstop toast for everyone. I almost ate my own hand it smelled so good. I didn't have any of course, hardcore moding the wheat thing as I am. But I wanted it so bad. I settled for my banana however like a good little dieter. Got home and there was an epic roast waiting for me. Now I've said before I have no idea how many calories are in a roast..I did a little digging into the veg side of it today...as in I googled to find the calorie content, and it was pretty minimal as you might expect. So I don't know if I ate over say 600 calories of roasties and beef and gravy..I just don't know. It seems like it shouldn't top 700 calories but it might. I had a lot of roasties though. I can't help myself..and I refuse to as well. We only have them once a week after all.

Then, like I say, I passed out (post watching the first episode of series two of Sherlock...I forgot how much I loved it). I woke up all cosy and tired and a little bit cross eyed with zero intention of exercising a little bit later. Sunday used to be my rest day but then that changed to a Wednesday so I don't have an excuse not to be honest. But I was absolutely refusing to at the moment I woke up. I was very much in that 'don't care if I'm fat forever, I'm cosy' mindset. But a little later after I had woke up I plucked up enough gumption to pick my fat ass up and plonk it on the bike. 

Post shower (this was getting on for nine o' clock at this point) I figured tea would be a good idea. I had four Ryvita, ham and a selection of salads to top them followed by a soy yoghurt thing which came in around 400 calories I think..so I had a couple of gluten free jaffas and a green tea a bit later after that. 

So like I say, I have eaten a fair whack today but, roast depending, I could be within the black. That and depending on how many calories that bike burns..which I still don't know. I am planning on buying an upgraded rowing machine..but at the moment I have three people I'm visiting over the next month or so all over the country so my finances are pretty tied. I'm flirting with the idea of whacking it on my credit card but I literally just paid that beast off which took me several months...don't think my poor heart could take loading it up again. We'll see though. I mean what I really need to do is just get used to being hungry...

I'm also trying a new tactic with my eating. I tend to be hungry when I get in and just eat my 500/600 calories for dinner fairly rapidly. I feel, not hungry but, almost unsatisfied when I finish but I reckon that's just my brain used to having tastier food at dinner time than my diet allows. And then, about  a half an hour later I feel stuffed. So what I'm planning on doing is one, slowing down when I eat because I know I eat quickly. And two, eating in bursts. I'm going to have whatever main component of the meal first, followed by maybe twenty minutes and then the 'desert' bit, followed by another twenty minutes and then some fruit if I want it. I'll give it a bash from tomorrow and see if that helps any.

Anyway, tomorrow is weigh day again. Hopefully I will have dropped some weight although I feel I have plateaued for months and months here and I'm doing basically the same thing..I might just start skipping breakfast again. I know it's the best meal of the day or whatever, but it just makes me absolutely starving by break time and also, is 200 wasted calories. We'll see. Depends on the scales.

Good boo and good night x

Burger

So I dropped the ball a little today. I was absolutely starving at work. Breakfast was a cereal bar thing and a giant weird tangerine I didn't know existed called a minneola (seriously they blew my mind, they're like orange sized tangerines). I find the days I bother to eat breakfast are the ones I end up ravenous by dinner time...so I took a banana to work as well. Didn't do jack, I was still marving when it came to home time. And I swear, I was planning out my Ryvita in the car and then my dad said they'd been to a farmer's market today and bought burgers...so I got home to this monster of a house burger. Gluten free roll, burger, bit of cheese, onions, mushrooms and a whole load of salad. I have no idea how many calories it came in at to be honest..well I know the bun is around 250 and the salad can't be more than maybe 20-30...but then there's the rest of it.

But never mind. I also decided to try the gluten free cookies mum had bought me with a cup of tea as well..so I'm not doing good at all today thinking about it. I did, however, already do my exercise for the day. I'm pretty hungry right now again. My saving grace could have been what I had for tea...but I know it's a sausage casserole and mash so it's not going to be on the lower end of the calorie scale. Oh well, not like we have burgers every day is it?

So I don't know this week. I feel like I have been doing good but the scales will tell I suppose. I'm sure this biking doesn't burn as many calories as I've read about. It should be like 400 but I don't know. I mean it's not mega intensive the ride that I do, but I alternate between three different levels of difficulty and I end up pretty sweaty by the end and I'm fairly fit despite my size. My heart rate about doubles as well..but I just don't know that it's burning all that many calories.

One of the things that never ceases to amaze me is the compliments I have been getting recently..compliments and comments. I mean, I have literally been about this size now for must be five/six months. I have been around the 14 stone 5-9 pound range. And yet recently, after losing only the best part of six pounds since Christmas, I have had three people comment on my weight loss. People I see every day at work. 'Oo you're wasting away'. This from someone I see three times a week..I don't know. It's crazy. Part of me loves the affirmation that this weight loss is showing (I know that after five stone I have lost a massive chunk of myself..and yet I look in the mirror and it doesn't look so vastly different) and part of me HATES the attention. One of the maintenance guys was chatting to me about how much I've lost and the like for about five minutes and I squirmed the entire time. 

Anyway, enough of that nonsense. I need to stop thinking about the weight I have lost and crack on with losing some more! 

Sounds like a plan. For now though, good boo.

Spring Clean

Good lord. I have spent a day and a half fully gutting my room and cleaning. Good thing my actual job isn't being a cleaner right...right?...shit.

This house we rent is properly damp. It's got terrible insulation, the seams on all the windows are rotting and the roof has a leak. So needless to say there's quite a bit of mould about and it can really get the jump on you if you're not paying attention. Which I haven't been doing in my bedroom if I'm honest. I do a cosmetic sort of clean on it often because I'm a messy person by nature. There's always something on my floor and usually I just let it build up and up until it gets to a point where it annoys me and then I clean. Because of the theatre stuff I just haven't bothered doing even that to be honest so it was a bit of a state. But then it had also started to smell. Just mould and wet and not nice. So I figured I would do a full on spring clean on my days off and by George I did. 

We went and bought a load of cleaning stuff post work on Tuesday and I was going to start it the Wednesday but I got a bee in my bonnet as I am prone to doing. So I started it after dinner on the Tuesday. Pulling out my bed and everything, it was pretty grotty behind it. I don't know how often people pull their furniture out to clean but I don't do it ever usually..which I know is kind of gross but I bet I'm not alone. So there was a lot of mould and more dust and I absolutely beasted it. Then it got to a point where I was like sod it, that's enough..and as usual my plans went to hell as I couldn't be bothered doing it on the Wednesday either! So it was Thursday's problem and I tackled that bitch straight on! I literally woke up rather late, had a dinner of soup and a gluten free ciabatta (I wish they could make bread stuff that doesn't have the consistency of stale) and cracked on! And I basically haven't stopped. Apart from for a green tea break with a snack of a gluten free cereal bar and jaffa cakes.

I think I have kept within my calories for the day because aside from a few grapes and my tea that's all I have eaten. Only thing was, tea was (gluten free again) pasta and I had a big old portion of it. So probably a little over my 700 calories but I have also exercised as well as being on the go all day so I should be fine. My stomach has behaved today..I don't know if it has anything to do with the decaf coffee..I missed out on having one today and it was fine...but I don't know. I think I'm grasping at straws at this point.

Right my fingers are about to fall off I am so cold (and only wearing a towel again so I may actually go put on some pjs before I freeze to death..). Wind is whistling through these crappy windows. I swear, I am on the cold side of the house too so it just doesn't warm up at any point during the day.

I'm going to go get a brew and maybe an apple and have myself a relaxed sort of an evening. I have very much earned it! 

Good boo.

Huzzah

At last, a loss...now granted it was only the pound that I put on last week but still. Right direction. I think I have done ok today. I got over excited at dinner time at the prospect of mini eggs and had about 100 calories worth. But I did exercise so I should be covered.

I had an oaty gluten free bar thing this morning for breakfast, with a banana. I don't know why but recently bananas have been my go to fruit. I go through phases like that. Sometimes apples, sometimes bananas and sometimes none at all. But I had another one for dinner along with some Japanese rice crackers and piri piri hummus, a soy yoghurt and the mini eggs. Tea was a somewhat calorific affair too. I had two small jacket potatoes with fat free cottage cheese, chorizo, peppers and mushrooms. I think I would have been fine had I just had the one potato but I was hungry..

Like I say though I have exercised, and aside from a genuine pinch of cheese I haven't eaten anything else today at all. Much as I wanted to apply a Snickers and salt and vinegar crisps to my face. I didn't though, hurrah for self control! Especially since I am genuinely a little heartsick at the moment. Entirely having boy trouble and resisting the urge to just eat my feelings. No pity party though, I refuse to do it! So I am going to enjoy that Snickers come cheat day. Hot fake coffee with a Snickers. Lush. 

Mum got me a shake weight today...now anyone who has been on the internet long enough will remember them being ridiculed online for being absolutely unintentionally hilarious. I had to suppress a snort when she gave me it. She has no idea. And there's no way I'm demonstrating it to her. I have used it though. And ridiculous movements aside, it did work my arms till they hurt so it might not be such a bad thing to use...behind closed doors and curtains. I'm not sure what my neighbours would think of it..

Right, to be honest, writing this was just procrastination for not having a shower..so I should really go do that before it gets any later.

For now, good boo.

Pretty sleepy..

Yeah I left this one till last minute again..oops. So much nothing happening in my evenings I just get caught up in it apparently..

I think I've had a good day today. I have been battling off the urge to just stick my face in my chocolate stash allll the damn day. But I haven't so yay for me. We did, however, have a curry for tea so I don't have a clue how many calories that was. Other than that I had a gluten free cereal bar thing for breakfast followed by a banana at break at work. Dinner was a gluten free sandwich thing which didn't taste terrible. I had another gluten free cereal type thing with that and a jelly. And then the curry for tea...with another banana.

I have done my exercise today..much as I didn't want to. The last ten minutes were an absolute struggle. I genuinely almost had to glue myself to the seat to stay on. Blew through it though and now it is time for sleeps. I should be asleep like as of an hour ago but I have been chatting with my friend via several social media platforms all night trying to fix my life. I miss the hell out of her. I used to live with her at uni, along with a bunch of other reprobates, and ever since moving out I've missed having them and especially her about.

She's always there for me to chat to but it's different from in person. But anyway, yeah, lots of talking with her over stupid issues and massive issues and all the ones inbetween.

I think I'll leave it there tonight before I go spewing up my life history and don't get to bed for another hour.

For tonight, good boo.

Malteasersss D:

I don't know how often I've explained my love for Malteasers, specifically the easter bunny treats they do this time of year. But I have been on this wheat free adventure for a little while and got informed by my celiac friend that they're now off limits to me :( Toh noes. They're my favourite! I've already had to veto so much and now my favourite sweets. 

I will though if I have to. I'm hardcore moding this for a couple of weeks to see if it makes a difference. Thankfully the epic bloating I was having during the show and rehearsals has died down, leading me to thinking that stress does indeed make it worse. I just need to chill the fuck out clearly. I half wish I lived on my own at the moment because it would be so much easier to just buy the stuff I know I can have. My mum, bless her heart, went out today and got me two big bags full of gluten free snacks and treats and crackers and the like. Absolute star. She's taking this in her stride although she also bought me a southern fried chicken for tea lol. We'll get there. It's a new thing not just for me. 

Anyway today has gone well food wise. I had a gluten free toasted English muffin with jam for breakfast with a yoghurt drink, and as it's payday I took mum for dinner in Morrisons. I had a prawn jacket potato..which did have the sauce on it which may account for my slightly bloated belly currently. I don't really know. I'm not hardcoring dairy because my lactose intolerant friend, who is affected quite badly, says she still has chocolate and cheese and the like..just not loads of it. I also had a couple of mum's chips because she can't finish her food ever on account of her gastric bypass. Not a lot though, maybe five. Tea was the chicken..I'd scraped all the coating off so I only had the meat. I know it still would have been contaminated by the flour somewhat, but I was pretty thorough. That came with some roasties and a salad. I'm surprisingly full considering. 

I've also had a couple of chocolate coated rice snack things. I was checking them out. It said it was around 170 calories for the bag and I only ate two of them so I'm guessing they weren't much each. Other than that I think that's me calorie wise today. Maybe some nibbley things I have forgotten but nothing springs to mind apart from a couple of grapes. I walked the dog tonight too as well as my usual exercise and work on top of that so I'm guessing I should be covered. 

I think maybe cutting down at dinner time is my way forward. I don't ever really know how many calories are in the meals my mum makes. I always guesstimate around 700 but I clearly must be going over somewhere along the line because I've plateaued again. I just need to work a little harder is all.

Right I think that'll do for the night. I'm off to find some cosy pjs and watch me some Walking Dead. I'd only watched the first season previously so I decided to rewatch that and then catch up to whatever is going on now. And I have blasted through it all in about three days! 

For tonight though, good boo!